Letter To My Future Self

Good Morning Everybody! I apologise for being inactive for so long, but I just didn’t have a lot inspiration for something to write about. But today I got inspired as I was thinking about the Pandemic and my experience through it, so I wrote a letter to my future self someone who went through the pandemic and came out of it a better person. It is a sort of a reflection and I hope it helps you guys reflect about your experience too.

To: 

Myself 

Good Morning! I hope you’re doing well, this letter is supposed to be opened once the pandemic is over, whenever that may be. And I know you’re already cringing and maybe laughing at this but I want you to know, this isn’t just a letter to my future self but also a reflection of who we were before the pandemic and who we became during it. I want to start off by saying: I’m proud of you, but more importantly I am proud of us. 

The pandemic brought with it a very confusing and hard time for us, as we were sent home, we rejoiced for a bit but soon it became a chore, it became repetitive and annoying. Every morning waking up, maybe changing your clothes or maybe not, staring at a screen for 7+ hours trying to retain anything that you were learning and then spending more time trying to catch up on school work. You felt not only like you were losing yourself but also your friends, and all the relationships you had worked so hard to build. It was disheartening and saddening but somewhere you found a way to occupy yourself just like everybody around the world you found the power of social media. You became addicted to tik tok, instagram and twitter but in a way who didn’t. As our parents became concerned about how much time we spent on our phones, we became obsessed with trying to be perfect or what we thought was perfect. It’s true the worst side effects of social media got to you, you wanted to be the ideal person but you knew deep down that wasn’t possible it was never going to be possible, yet you tried anyways to no avail I might add. But then something happened you discovered new artists and new aesthetics, yes social media may have ruined your self esteem but it gave you a way to gain it back in a much more positive manner. You discovered music and bands who represented who you were, you connected with them and it was refreshing to be able to say that a song or an artist captured who you are. This discovery started a chain reaction, a process that albeit took time but a process that helped you, that helped us become more self aware and more confident. 

It wasn’t easy to pinpoint what style of clothes fit you the best or what type of person you wanted to be but the process gave you so much to think about. I think that was truly when you started communicating with yourself and who you wanted to be. As you started on this journey, you started to become more mindful of how fickle life is and how we’re always so focused on the future, we forget to live in the present. And I know you’re laughing at how cliche that sounds but that’s exactly what happened to you. I remember every time you talked about your day to your best friend who lives a few thousand miles away, you always seemed to focus on all the moments that made you smile or when you talked to the school counselor, the only things in your head were all the moments you enjoyed. The realisation that your brain was subconsciously reminding you of all the things you enjoyed took you by surprise, I remember I was there. It was a surreal experience. I can say that with certainty and it made you more positive, yes there were days where all you wanted to do was bury yourself in blankets and sleep or days where you couldn’t talk without needing to cry, but that was part of your life and you realised you were ok with that. And somewhere along the way you became confident in yourself, you don’t exactly know when or how it happened, but one day you woke up and everything you wore made you feel amazing and you started using that. The need to feel amazing everyday made you much more lively everyday for online learning. You woke up, chose a new outfit and became excited for the day and you enjoyed feeling that way. So when you hit an obstacle you crumbled, you cried to the school counselor about how you had no energy to do anything and that even the things you enjoyed felt like chores, you again felt like you were at your worst and there was no way to climb out. I know you’re thinking about why I’m talking about all of this, you know about this, you went through this, I’m writing about it because the person that came out of the pandemic is someone who has seen her worst self and come out of it. I want you to be proud of not who you are but who you used to be and how much effort it took for you to come here. Sure you didn’t talk to alot of people, sure your communication was limited but you talked to yourself and that in itself is such a big feat. 

You stand here today having conquered every bad day, sure you aren’t a YA novel hero but you’re a hero for yourself that’s enough. You stand here today as someone who is proud of all of her achievements no matter how small or big. It wasn’t easy finding the confidence to be able to say you look pretty or the confidence to be able to move on from a bad grade or a bad day and try again but you did it despite everything and for that I am and will forever be proud of you. 

I hope that whenever you read this letter you are more in love with yourself and more proud of yourself because at the end of the day you might only have yourself and I hope you’re ok with that. 

Love yours truly 

Noshi. 

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and maybe it gave you a chance to reflection about yourself too 🙂

Hopefully see you soon

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